Conversation is dependent upon one thing: Dialogue. Those of us who have studied language in any form know that “di” in dialogue implies that two parties are taking part in this activity. Dialogue is dependent on multiple parties talking, and not only talking but also listening. Really Listening.
While babysitting for several families this summer I noticed that I was unable to have intelligent conversation with kids in elementary school, however I could still maintain a productive conversation with these kids. I would say something, they would acknowledge this statement and say something related or ask a question, and if I weren’t actually listening to their response they would call me on it. I was caught. I wasn’t caught for being easily distracted or spacey, but I was caught for being uncaring and unkind. It doesn’t matter that this person that I’m talking to is six years old. I should care about their experiences and thoughts as long as they care enough about me to share these experiences and thoughts with me.
That is what leads us here. Conversation, true conversation, always leads to a kinder life and a joyful exchange. Amongst my friends from home, the only time we have serious conversations is when they are proclaimed “H2H’s” or “Heart to Hearts.” I think that every conversation should take on this ideal of hearts reaching and connecting with hearts. Whether discussing the troubles we’re facing with school, faith, or family, or just talking about what we had for lunch today, listening and connecting is key.
Why is it so important to connect with each other every time you take part in conversation? Well, how does it feel to be heard? How does it feel for someone to mention something that you said in passing weeks ago? I know that whenever someone does something that makes it feel that I’ve been heard, my heart leaps and I know that someone cares for me. When I’m in conversation with a big group and I’m not interrupted or ignored, I feel like I could run miles despite my excessive leg injuries. And if being heard makes me feel this good, why shouldn’t I share this great feeling with others?
I’ve been challenging myself the past few weeks to listen to people. It has been surprisingly hard. If I ask a question, I better want the answer no matter how long it is. The goal is to get to know people and to care for others more. To spread the kindness of conversation.
So friends, are you just going to talk, or are you ready to converse?
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