The Golden Rule

“The Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated.”  A lesson pounded into our heads as kindergarteners.  Repeated in middle school.  Written one hundred times on a piece of lined paper during recess as a punishment for fighting with the boys and ignoring all the girls. And finally, a lesson that I never learned both sides of.

I’m not in middle school anymore, so I don’t get in trouble for fighting boys and ignoring girls anymore. I consider other people’s feelings; I make eye contact, hold doors, and send kind text messages to folks who I worry about. One might think I’ve got the golden rule down; that I don’t even have to give the golden rule a second thought.

But then, I gave the golden rule a second thought:

“Treat others as you would like to be treated.” How would I like to be treated? I’d like to be treated kindly. I’d like it if no one ever said a single negative thing about me. I’d like it if everyone was proud of me, and that everyone would love me. How do I treat others? I try to treat others like they’re the most important thing in my life. I like to speak kindly of them and to let them know that I love them and that I couldn’t be prouder of the accomplishments that they’ve made.

So if I’m supposed to treat others in the same way I would like to be treated, shouldn’t I treat myself the same?  Should I not be kind to myself? When I make my to-do lists for the day, set my alarm clock for the next morning, or receive a graded paper or test, should I not think about being kind to myself before adding too many tasks to the list, or only allowing myself 6 hours of rest for the night, or putting myself down when that grade isn’t up to par? I should. Because if it were anyone else, I would tell them to reduce their tasks, increase their rest, and that one grade does not make them a failure.

This is one of the hardest lessons I’ve tried to learn this year. It was my mother that pointed out to me that our family has always been really hard on ourselves, and it’s killing us. If we want to be kind to others, and we want others to be kind to us, then we have to learn to love ourselves as much as the world around us.

Love.

Simple as that. 

Today, I was looking for some fresh jams as I was driving through the congested 5:15 Lakeshore Drive traffic and I ran across this song on an old mix CD. (I wish I were cool enough to have had it on a mix tape. Deduct 10 points from my "cool kid" scoreboard.) 

Coolness aside, this song is all about kindness. With the recurring line "Always lift him up, and never knock him down." Not, "When you're in a good mood, lift him up, and when it will make you look good, knock him down." Not "Lift him up if it's convenient" or "When you see him, share some kind words and a smile." but "ALWAYS lift him up, and NEVER knock him down."

Digging further in the history of my life, I realized where I first heard this song. I heard this song on a retreat my senior year of high school. It was the song that a friend had chosen to follow his talk about the topic of "Christian love." I've heard and read many of my friends's talks about the subject, and without fail, the person or situation that they've chosen to discuss in their talk has always been a great example of kindness. Whether it was found in the kindness of others in a time of need, or in the sense of urgency in becoming a kind and loving friend, neighbor, or stranger, or in the kindness of a merciful and loving God...Kindness was always found. And Kindness was always associated with love. And kindness was always associated with Christian love.

Be a light. Be kind. Love. Always.