Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Eye Contact

Earlier this week, I re-introduced myself to someone. We had gone to middle school together, and I was always on the outskirts of his friend-group. Last year, I started my freshman year of college at the same school as him. For a year and a half it has been on my to-do list to speak with this person, but I was afraid that he wouldn't remember me. I had walked right past him in doorways, stood next to him in lines in the caf, and made friends with a few of his friends, but I still hadn't spoken to him until this week. Finally, we were both standing next to each other and no one around was distracting either of us, so I finally just said, "I don't know if you knew this, but I think we went to middle school together." 
Suddenly, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I don't know why it was such a big deal for me to just get those words out, but it had taken me a year and a half to do it. Surprisingly, he responded that he did know that we went to school together, and he knew my mom, and he knew my dad, and the only reason he hadn't been the one to start this conversation is because he didn't think that I remembered him.
Was I really cool enough that I gave off an aura that I would forget who someone is?  Someone thought that there was enough going on in my life that I wouldn't remember them.  It's a compliment in a way, but it's also a wake up call. I can't be cool. I want people, all people, to know that I care about them. If that means I have to make myself seem less "cool" then so be it.

This leads us to eye contact. The first step in making myself less cool and making sure everyone knows that I care about them, is to look up and make eye contact with them. Not only make eye contact, but maybe even be so daring as to smile. Sure, I haven't talked to you in a while, and I see that you're on your way to class so we can't catch up right now, but I remember you and I care about you and I want you to know that.
One of my Samford pet peeves is that people don't make eye contact enough. People don't acknowledge each other's existence. Everyone is too cool for everyone else, and since I'm a unique person (or so my mother tells me) I want no part in this "cool" crowd. I think that half of every persons sadness could be diminished by looking up, making eye contact and smiling. Not only is it the simplest way to acknowledge someone's existence and show them that you care, but when they do it back at you, you know that someone else cares too. 

If everyone would just look up. If everyone would just care.
Because caring, is kind.